Saturday, November 13, 2010

Things People Do on the Internet that really bother me

So there are a ton of things people do on the internet that they think is really cool but yet it's incredibly annoying and childish. 11 points should do a list on this and the oatmeal probably already has but just in case I am going to spit out a few that I can think of off the top of my head.

1) People who take pictures of themselves in front of the mirror at the gym wearing their work out gloves. I don't know what to google to find these pics nor do I care to see any of them but it's straight Jersey Shore Douchbagery written all over it. So stop posting these pictures online we don't care that you are gay I'm over it and you should be to.

2) People who let you know every single move they make via foursquare, twitter, facebook, and any other social app out there. Danny V. "Taking a shit than going to shower be depressed my girlfriend left me because I update my facebook too much"
25 minutes later Danny V. just checked into TGI Fridays.
45 minutes later Danny V. Tweeted Wow these onion rings at fridays have a lot of grease on them and my waitress is hot but avoiding me but it's cool I got her facebook page on stalker cast.

I know that was painful writing I can't imagine reading that.

3) People who work for these ponzi schemes who are always trying to get you to sign up for the new product of the month whether it's viagra deals, Amway Products, Monavie, ACNs cell phone cable deal etc.... I really DO NOT CARE stop spamming me I'm now thinking we're not friends at all you just use me to promote these useless products thanks I'll stick with Tom as my only friend.

4) People that complain about their life all the time. Devin K.
"Day 4 haven't slept in 72 hours, never had a drug in my life but now may be the time can I go on any longer like this, maybe tomorrow will be better"
Day 5 "Still not any better this really sucks now wish the pain would just go away but I can't stop thinking about how often I update my life to the public who just laugh at my ridiculous posts"
Kim H. "Whats wrong, what happened hunny?"
Devin K. "Don't want to talk about it not really anybody's business"
ME "SO THAN STOP FUCKING UPDATING THE WORLD ABOUT SHIT YOU DONT WANT PEOPLE TO SEE"
Day 6 Devin K. "So the pain is till hear still haven't slept and am thinking about going out and partying on a boat driving a lambo but it doesnt matter anymore cause life is too hard to go on without updating my status"

5) People that talk about how hard it is for them to find a good girl or guy. NO SHIT very few of us exist out there and most of them can write a fuck of a lot better than I can but at least I'm geniune, funny (or at least I think I am), smart, and can rock your world. I gave you a chance you blew it I don't chase 'em I replace 'em so start your search on this lovely thing called the internet match.com eharmony.com speedate.com, jdate.com you get the point. Complaining on your twitter and FB will in no way shape or form bring you the joy in life you are looking for. It's just making you an easier target for guys to nail you on a one night stand cause your down on the ground.

FIN.

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