Title: It Ain't Easy Being a Fat Chick
Some observations from a 43 year old 5 foot 4 230 lb woman....
I have been working really hard at changing my life. I am down 35 lbs, up probably 10 in muscle. The first thing to vanish was my boobs and the last thing will be my frickin' belly. I feel much better, my eyes are clear, my clothes are all too baggy and fried food bothers my stomach. I also, for the first time in my life, find obese people upsetting and almost disgusting. This bugs me, it is hypocritical at best, I am still a fat chick!
Here are a few things I have noticed so far -
1. Most men still think me vulgar and ugly, never mind my pretty face and personality. But now, I am starting to see men at the gym doing one of two things - they either speak to me because I have somehow managed to be a gym rat in their eyes or they are starting to pay attention and be nice to me because they think that by some miracle I will screw them once I lose a bunch more weight, granted, this is my instinct speaking, I could be totally wrong. Either way, anyone who wasn't man enough for me as a really fat chick surely will not be man enough for me in the future, it kind of pisses me off.
2. 35 lbs is A LOT of fat. Next time you go to the grocery store, take a look at packages of hamburger in 1 or 2 pounds. Add it up, it seems massive. It feels that way too. Who knew that 6 months ago when walking on the treadmill hurt my feet so bad I could hardly walk that now I am biking and running.
3. Women are for the most part, negative about my success. Disguised as some sort of twisted cheering me on, most have something negative hidden in everything they say. WTF is that? Women truly are insane!
4. Trainers are useless to me! Most of them are just slick salesmen who studied one book and took some test (not all, but this has been my impression and I have made it my business to get to know them all). The nicest people I have interacted with have been the biggest, baddest, buffest dudes and the most ripped ladies. Somehow they can see beyond the obvious and pick up on the fact that I am absolutely driven and determined. Some of them have been instrumental in proper form, putting together a solid work out and how to make a program work.
5. Chicks that wear a bunch of makeup and wear their hair down at the gym looking super hot are THE MOST SUPERFICIAL creatures walking the planet, AND they are dumb as rocks. What a waste of such beauty.
6. Building muscle and losing fat hide themselves and manifest themselves in the strangest of ways. I plateaued at 35 lbs a month ago and yet people who haven't seen me in a month are still going "WOW you are losing weight!". So don't get so down when you hit one, your body is just adjusting, it is natural and a part of the whole deal.
7. It SUCKS being the fat one at the gym, it is not easy to walk into a place of sculpted beauties looking so pitiful. You have to absolutely dismiss all of those feelings and it is not easy!
8. Gay guys absolutely hate fat women at the gym, it makes no sense to me but they have mad attitude.
9. There is so much to learn, un-learn in bad habits and re-learn in good ones. Give yourself a break, you didn't get fat overnight, its not going away overnight. You have to stick with it, invest time and time pays off.
10. Young guys are much nicer than the young ladies.
11. Don't be a chicken! People bigger than you feel just as awful and awkward as you do, dare to share your enthusiasm with them, it really does help.
12. I hate brown rice and oatmeal, but they are my friends.
13. If you are gonna eat carbs, get your ass on the cardio machines and use them!
14. Elyptical (sp?)machines are supposed to be easy on the knees, what bullshit! They are also usually made for people 5 foot 5 or taller.
15. Don't freak out when you build muscle in your upper body and your bras get tight! Build enough muscle and the fat will start to fade, it will pass.
16. 6 meals a day really is a great ticket, eat protein with each and every one of them.
17. If you are really working the weights, start incorporating a protein shake of some sort immediately after your work out - if you wait more than 20-30 minutes your muscles will try and eat themselves.
18. One word - DERMAFINE-MD. It WORKS just as well and is much cheaper than Strivectin.
19. Please for the love of all things sacred, lose weight for YOURSELF. Forget the porn/media driven body image and trying to be something for someone else. You MUST strive above all to do it for YOU (everyone else gets a bonus when YOU succeed).
20. COUNT EACH AND EVERY CALORIE AND MAKE THEM COUNT. If you don't eat enough, your body will eat your muscles, if you eat too much and the wrong type, back comes fat.
21. YEP - that guy you absolutely could not believe was looking at your hoochie when you were doing leg presses really was. Nope, he doesn't want to screw you but somehow can't NOT look.
22. YEP - that awful bimbo who looks at you with such disgust really does think you a loser, fuck her and the sugar daddy who bought her those boobs.
Well I am rambling, I just wanted to share a little of what I have learned and seen. I hope it helps someone out there. You really can be successful, just remember that courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear - YOU!